A change in me......

yesterday night i was talking to a friend of mine...and while talking only she commented ,that "sakshi i am seeing alot of change in you..." ...

that got me into thinking and i realised that yes i have changed maybe for good , maybe for bad...that i dont know...but what i know is that i have grown up a bit.....

today i wanna talk about" how by every experience of life you learn a bit "... believe me every little thing that happens in life teaches you something or the other....maybe at that moment we wont be able to see it...but there is a growth that takes place inside....

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in with in one year i have lost many people important to me....first i lost my dog(the best dog ever...she was almost a friend to me...i was just 7-8 years old when she came..

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she used to actually play "ghar ghar" with me...believe me she was "the cutest"....and the daughter my mother ever wanted..(i know it sounds funny , but she was nt like a dog in our family ...she was a family...she used to agree what ever my mom used to tell her...

she was too intelegent to even get trained..) ...and in the end we had to give her injection to release her from all the pain....she got relieved...but we can not over come the guilt of killing the same baby we brought to take care of....

then my grandfather(he was a man of honer...he was the most disciplined person i had ever seen... he was an navy officer....he was the most well dressed person i had seen in 20 years as he did not go out of house in causals ever..even when he was in his 70s

and i lost him to.....

and then my grandmother ( she was one person i fought with the most and loved the most....she was like a guardian , a protector, decision maker of the whole family...i mean i have seen many daadis they are much busy in their own lifes ,either praying or doing yoga etc what ever old people do...but mine was busy in dancing on the tune of songs like" kanta laga or bidi jalile " etc...she was into eating junk food, parting...she was like a kid in old womens body...she had and ability of binding the whole family together and act as a guardian and as well as acting like a kid when ever she wanted to...)

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all these expirences have brought a change that i can feel and see in me....i know that now there is no one to look out for me or my family like my grandmother did...and that has brought a growth in me.....all these experiences have made me more confident...as now i have to take my own decisions...have made me more matured...as now i know what do i want in life.....

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and now i know that it is time to carry forward the things that i have learnt form every relationship and the experience of life....like..

*i have learnt to love unconditionally maybe from my dog ....

*.i have learnt to be up beat n happy n confident from my grandmother....she has also taught how to live life to the fullest ......

* i have learnt to keep morals and set rules for my own self from my grandfather.......

i have learnt a lot from all these experiences...n believe me even a small thing that happens in life , only happens to teach you some thing....

its true, that i do feel a pain like somebody is poking a needle i your skin , when ever i think that i wont be able to see these people ever in my life...(and believe me while even writing this line i choked a bit)....its awful...but it is one truth that we humans never accept......

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but believe me it was just to make you learn more.....and it was the best thing that could have happened ..i know it seems weired to call it a best thing ....but seriously there are many things worst than this that could have happened that we cant even imagine...

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i am writing this just to share something that i feel .... its not necessary that everybody would think in same manner.....

but, "its better to have positive thinking ...rather than having negative thinking and cribbing all your life"....

in the end ...i wanna thank you for stopping by and reading my blog.....please do comment as it gives me inspiration to rite more .... criticism is also appreciated.....

sakshi :)